Chainsaws & Boletus Edulis


A mushroom walks into a bar.

“We don’t serve your kind here,” said the bartender.

“Aww, come on, I’m a Fungi!”

Get it? Fungi. Fun Guy. Are you laughing? Come on, why aren’t you laughing? I’ve got plenty more where that came from, as I recently invested in Laffy Taffy.

Cuts like butter, stings like a bee.

I also recently invested in some of our awesome local trails. Escaping to one of my favorite Rockies pockets, the Hobbes Family welcomed me warmly to Tabernash. At Sparrow-Fart the next morning, Andy and I headed to ‘The Village’ outside of Grand Lake, where the USFS field crews and staff are based. We checked in, loaded up the truck, and headed out for North Supply Trail Head.

Chainsaw and grub hoe in tow, we set to a 10 mile loop of the 350 miles of trail in Grand County. Clearing tree-fall along the way, the Chainsaw Master made quick work of whatever we came upon.

Dropping from one of the ridges off Porphyry Peaks we dug trenches to mitigate muck at a couple swampy spots, splattering mud and hauling rocks to the side for future use. Whereas hiker Fidgit thought to plant the rocks as stepping stones, Trail Crew Lead Andy had the bikers and equestrians in mind too and did a great job of explaining why and how we’d grub at certain spots and what direction to run the canals.

Lost Lake

Lunch and then down to pretty little Lost Lake. Fidgit wanted to swim but we were out here on business and anyway, had decided to hike the longer Wolverine Trail back.

Chainsaw Hiker

Ladies and Gentlemen, I can point confidently to at least one very good application of our tax dollars, and it is Andrew Borek. “At the end of each day I ask myself, ‘did I do right by the Public today,'” he explained.

Cutting over 53 trees out of the trail and various other forms of trail service, by the time we came over a grassy saddle I had found my way back to contentedness. Shoulders aching, T-Rex arms tired, splattered with mud and feeling sexy in Carhartts, I was at my best.

Passing along the edges of mountain meadows, tree shadows stabbed into the open sunny places as the dome of the mountains’ imposing shadows lengthened and cooled.

Out in a large meadow where the sun still smiled, thickening hues of evening light bathed a HERD of moose. Yes, you read the capslock right. A HERD.

We’d passed one on the road that morning and I’ve encountered a few of these massive beasts throughout the years, but never in such a large party. One (1) Bull, bearing a proud rack and a harem of five (5) cows. I was thrilled at the sight and for the distance between us; far enough to feel safe and for my camera to be inutil but close enough to absorb the scene.

Stopping one last time to pick some snacks, Andy dug diligently while I played in the dirt and took pictures helped.

Listing off my favorite parts of the day, I realized they ran into a pretty continuous whole, which makes it, officially, a Very Good Day.

This morning we met Leda at the end of a graveyard shift, caught up with another friend, and went to Radium hot springs.

Walk out to Radium Hot Springs.

Holding onto heavy sleep from the night before through the short hike, we sunk into the warm waters and back into gentle half consciousness, chatting and soaking as the dogs ran patrol.

A 25 ft cliff jutted above us along the river. It looked jumpable. Very, very jumpable. And there was a camping spot atop the cliff. As such, I will withhold the location until you (yes, you) come play; or Google it yourself. Whatevs. I’m just saying, it’ll be way less fun without me.

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