Gaper Day

April’s arrival marks the end of Mustache March. Girlfriends resume influence on their men’s facial hair, and heck, it’s 60 + degrees, so who wants excess hair anyway?!

Do you know what Sponge Bob Square Pants’ favorite Holiday is? April 1st.

Not actually a convenient way to transport skis. As they will slip out of the pole straps on the reg

Texas suitcase - Not actually convenient for transportation, as skis will slip out of pole straps on the reg.

The Pizza vs. the French Fry

This most sacred of celebrations is colloquially called ‘Gaper Day’, whereupon we honor the major source of our industry; Gapers. So called for the gap between goggles and helmet/cowboy hat, Gapers will often be found tucking jeans into the top of their ski boots and carrying ski sets in the ‘Texas Suitcase’.

The more confident Gapers will be seen practicing the ‘Texas Tuck’, which somewhat simulates a racer’s crouch, except ski poles are pointed straight upward, acting as a lightening rod while the subject assumes the ‘pizza’ and skitters from one side of the run all the way to the other.

The major resorts, billing themselves as ‘family friendly’ raise security on April 1, forbid staff from dressing up, and discourage local revelers from visiting. As such, the major meeting-ground for this holiday is The Legend. And what a gathering it was!

Based out of the parking lot, clans will roll in at 5 am to get ‘beach front’ parking. Grills, games (such as sandbags), music (live or recorded), and copious libations seem to be the foundation for each ‘camp’, although there is constant free flow of people milling about.

Radder than U. Even on snow blades & in a fartbag.

It’s a lot of fun, but that which is truly rad, occurs up on the slopes, where everything from blinding neon 80s ‘fart bags’ (one piece ski suit), cowboy hats, jeans, Trashcan robots, Carhartts, tutus, duct tape suits, human size bananas, nudes, you name it, careen down the mountain on inordinately proportioned equipment, be they snow blades, or 80s style skis: flat and freakishly long.

My favorite were the outlandish outfits who would wobble and careen off the chair lift, then, as the expression goes, “rip the s#&% out this.” Laughing as men in ladies lingerie or bright gold, skin tight onesies flew off of jumps only to execute 720 spins and all other sort of astounding aeronautical maneuvers.

It’s a day about Fun; and Fun was had.

Boys' Club.

For further research, and if you’re not offended by nudity & foul language, learn more from this 1 hour, educational movie: Game of GNAR

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